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attractive enough, interesting enough, fun enough and the sex is good enough& just not enough for a full commitment. If he s comfortable, he ll stay around until he gets bored or you give him an ultimatum. You must know of men who stay with a woman, sometimes for years, until she gets fed up and demands the proposal, then he leaves. What s funny is how often, after he meets the next woman, he marries her. So waiting to have sex weeds out those who are interested in just good enough& and just for the time being. Flirting Made Easy Copyright 2009 by Kara Oh All Rights Reserved 98 Another reason to wait to have sex is because our brains get fuzzy once we have intercourse. That s because intercourse floods a woman s body with what they call the bonding hormone. The hormone is called oxytocin, and it causes you to get emotionally attached. = = = = = Secret About You: When you have sex with a man you become bonded. = = = = = If you don t know yet if he is someone you want to seriously consider for a long-term relationship, you don t want to fog your brain by bonding to him prematurely. How long is long enough? That s where you have to be smart by doing your Due Diligence. When you have looked at how he fits your list of Mate and Relationship Essentials and your Intolerable Male Qualities, you will be making a rational decision, not one fed by silly fantasies or hormones of desire. What amazes me is how often a woman tells me she had sex with a man early on because if she didn t she feared losing him. You can now see how this rational is so off base. Or, some women wear their pride in being a modern woman like a badge of honor. Great. You get to have lots of sex with lots of men& and you also get to stay single. If you want a solid, committed relationship with a good man who respects and admires you, wait! I ve talked about developing your intuition so you can begin to allow it to guide you to be smart. A quick test to see if you really care deeply enough for a man to sleep with him is this: Ask yourself, Is this a man I would like to have children with and be the father of my Flirting Made Easy Copyright 2009 by Kara Oh All Rights Reserved 99 children? Most women can get a clear message immediately when they answer this question honestly. = = = = = Truth About Life: A romp in the hay is fine unless you re looking for long term with a good man. Then it s best to err on the side of waiting too long than having sex too soon. = = = = = In Closing& Which Is Only The Beginning Once you are certain you want to pursue a potential relationship with a man and he is telling you, directly or indirectly, he wants the same, you have flirted masterfully, right into his heart. This is a beautiful stage but is the time when many people just don t know how to get through the inevitable pitfalls, allowing what could have been to go unexplored. I want you to have the love you seek, the love your heart aches to feel. So now, to help you create a relationship that is better than any you have experienced before, I hope you will get the next book in this series, How To Capture His Heart. This takes you into the next stage, which is building a relationship and developing a deeper, more bonded love than you ve previously been able to create. You can find this and all my other books at KaraOh.com. I hope you will re-read this book because changing old habits that have become ingrained is not easy. It takes desire and continued awareness. I wish to help you along your path to perfect love. If you would like to work privately with me to move past fears, blocks and open your heart fully to love and the possibilities that await you, I offer Soul Transformation Retreats where you spend time with me in my home in Santa Barbara or Kauai. You can learn about my retreats at SoulTransformationRetreats.com or there is a link at KaraOh.com as well. Flirting Made Easy Copyright 2009 by Kara Oh All Rights Reserved 100 I wish you a blessed life filled to overflowing with love and light. Please continue to open your heart so your energy can flow and glow and take you to the stars. You deserve all that and more. From my heart to yours, The Heart Whisperer"! http://KaraOh.com a a a a a Synopsis Of The Secrets Secrets About Men 1. When you re the right one, and he s ready, he ll move mountains to make you his woman. 2. Men need their woman to respect them. 3. Their desire to give the romance women want is directly proportional to feeling important to a woman. 4. How you look will get a man to notice you but your energy is what will cause him to become intrigued, want to get to know you better and eventually fall in love with you. 5. Men need to feel about 95% sure you will not reject them for them to walk up to you and start a conversation. 6. Most men are not out searching for a long-term relationship in the way that women are. When they find themselves attracted to what they see right in front of them, if they could, they d ask you then and there if you wanted to have sex, preferably in the next five minutes. They re not necessarily thinking this but it is hunkering just beneath the surface of their cognition. Para Flirting Made Easy Copyright 2009 by Kara Oh All Rights Reserved 101 within #6: This doesn t mean they aren t looking for a good woman if they re at a stage in their life that they re ready it s just not what s going through their mind when they first meet you. 7. The more nervous he is, the more likely he s attracted to you, unless, of course, he s just a shy kind of guy. But if he is shy, he probably would not have crossed the room to talk to you. That room, even if it s only twenty feet across, is a huge expanse for most men as they re walking the distance. Men don t like feeling vulnerable and they are very vulnerable at this moment. 8. Men are either attracted to a woman, or they re not. Pretty simple because they need to be physically attracted for it to go anywhere for them. Really, think about it. If a man can t get it up for a woman, he can t fake it simply because she s terrific in every other way. 9. When you do mention kids, Mr. Player will leave as soon as humanly possible. Mr. Possible will maybe stay to learn more. I say maybe because it takes an exceptional man to be willing to take on another man s children. He knows there will be emotional and financial responsibilities as well as taking 2nd place behind your kids. Para within #9: He also knows if he gets involved with you, he s also taking on a relationship with the children s father, if he s in their lives. So even a really great [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ] |