[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
completing a task, or winning at some game or sport, and yet later does. The earlier despair makes the victory all the sweeter. That is not despair, Ziller said quietly. That is temporary annoyance, the passing irritation of foreseen disappointment. I meant nothing so trivial. I meant the sort of despair that eats your soul, that contaminates your senses so that every experience, however pleasant, becomes saturated with bile. The sort of despair that drives you to thoughts of suicide. Kabe rocked back. No, he said. No. They might hope to have put that behind them. Yes. They leave it in their wake for others. Ah. Kabe nodded. I think we touch upon what happened to your own people. Well, some of them feel remorse close to despair about that. It was mostly our own doing. Ziller crumbled some smoke block into his pipe, tamping it down with a small silver instru- ment and producing further clouds of smoke. We would doubt- less have contrived a war without the Culture s help. Not necessarily. I disagree. Regardless; at least after a war we might have been forced to confront our own stupidities. The Culture s involvement meant that we suffered the war s depredations while failing to benefit from its lessons. We just blamed the Culture instead. Short of our utter destruction the outcome could hardly have been worse, and sometimes I feel that even that is an unjustified exception. Kabe sat still for a while. Blue smoke rose from Ziller s pipe. Ziller had once been Gifted-from- Page 60 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html Tacted Mahrai Ziller VIII of Wescrip. Born into a family of administrators and diplomats, he had been a musical prodigy almost from infancy, composing his first orchestral work at an age when most Chelgrian children were still learning not to eat their shoes. He had taken the designation Gifted - two caste levels below that he had been born into - when he dropped out of college, scandalising his parents. Despite garnering outrageous fame and fortune in his career he scandalised them still further, to the point of illness and break- down, when he became a radical Caste Denier, entered politics as an Equalitarian and used his prestige to argue for the end of the caste system. Gradually public and political opinion began to shift; it started to look as though the long talked-about Great Change might finally happen. After an unsuccessful attempt on his life Ziller renounced his caste altogether, and so was deemed the lowest of the non-criminal low; an Invisible. A second assassination attempt very nearly succeeded; it left him near death and in hospital for quarter of a year. It was moot whether his months out of the political scrum had made any crucial difference, but unarguably by the time he was recovered the tide had turned again, the backlash had begun and any hope of significant change appeared to have vanished for at least a generation. Ziller s musical output had suffered during the years of his political involvement, in quantity at least. He announced that he was quitting public life to concentrate on composition, so alien- ating his former liberal allies and delighting the conservatives who had been his enemies. Even so, despite great pressure he did not renounce his Invisible status - though increasingly he was treated as an honorary Given - and he never gave any sign of support for the status quo, save for that studied silence on all matters political. His prestige and popularity increased still further; cascades of prizes, awards and honours were lavished upon him; polls proclaimed him the greatest living Chelgrian; there was talk of him becoming Ceremonial President one day. With his celebrity and prominence at this unprecedented crescendo of acclaim, he used what was supposed to be his acceptance speech for the greatest civilian honour the Chelgrian State could bestow - at a grand and glittering ceremony in Chelise, the Chelgrian State s capital, which would be broadcast over the whole sphere of Chelgrian space - to announce that he had never changed his file:///F|/rah/Iain%20Banks/Banks%20Iain%20M%20%20-%20Look%20To%20Windward.txt (62 of 210) [1/19/03 9:55:26 PM] file:///F|/rah/Iain%20Banks/Banks%20Iain%20M%20%20-%20Look%20To%20Windward.txt views, he was and always would be a liberal and an Equalitarian, he was more proud to have worked with the people who still espoused such views than he was of his music, he had grown to loathe the forces of conservatism even more than he had in his youth, he still despised the state, the society and the people that tolerated the caste system, he was not accepting this honour, he would be returning all the others he had acquired, and he had already booked passage to leave the Chelgrian State immediately and forever, because unlike the liberal comrades he loved, respected and admired so much, he just did not have the moral strength to continue living in this vicious, hateful, intolerable regime any longer. His speech was greeted with stunned silence. He left the stage to hisses and boos and spent the night in a Culture embassy compound with a crowd at the gates baying for his blood. A Culture ship lifted him away the following day; he travelled extensively within the Culture over the next few years and finally made his home on Masaq Orbital. Page 61 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html Ziller had remained on Masaq even after the election of an Equalitarian President on Chel, seven years after he d left. Reforms were put in place and the Invisibles and the other castes were fully enfranchised at last, but still, despite numerous requests and invitations, Ziller had not returned to his home, and had offered little in the way of explanation. People assumed it was because the caste system would still exist. Part of the compromise which had sold the reforms to the higher castes was that titles and caste names would be retained as part of one s legal nomenclature and a new property law would give ownership of clan lands to the immediate family of the house chief. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ] |